There's something inherently romantic about leaving the life you knew behind and starting a new one. Not just a new one, but one which is more successful, you can actually change your name, you have a new persona. This is one of the things I find so interesting and fascinating with "Mad Men".
In its best episodes, "Mad Men" can be an escape, we can admire a man like Don Draper, who is the ironic twist of a self made man. In reality Don Draper was killed in Korea, but his name is taken from him by Dick Whitman (Jon Hamm), a man who takes it and starts a new and successful life for himself. With that name he's able to leave his poverty stricken farming family and become an ad man.
Dick has paid dearly for his double life, when the past comes back to haunt him, he turns into a coward, a nervous wreck, yet at his best, we can't help but admire the man. It's an interesting juxtaposition "Mad Men" explores, to me Don Draper shows the best and worst in human nature, he's a hero, and a villain all in the same package, he is perhaps one of the most complex figures in fictional television.
I will probably get into "Mad Men" a bit more when I revisit the series, which I recommend to everyone who hasn't seen it. I guess the point I'm trying to make is reassessing your life, finding the faults in it, the mistakes, the regrets, does everyone get like that? Don't you sometimes wish you could just up and leave your life behind and starting all over? It's easier said than done, it has to do with an escape. I suppose that's why I enjoy writing so much, it's something you have control over, you can figure out an ending which can be much more satisfying than in real life. The same could be said for acting as well, where you literally can become a different person, go through the motions of a different life, different circumstances, it can be very liberating, for me it can be invigorating.
Maybe it also has something to do with expressing yourself, who you really are. When I see Don Draper, I see a man who is able to express himself better in his made up persona, perhaps it's his real persona all along, but he can only channel it through his facade. I've been told by people who think I'm quiet, they think I become a different person on stage, that's not a conceit, what I think it is is I feel more myself onstage than I sometimes do in real life. I sometimes don't like it that way, I wish I could express myself more freely in real life, I could feel more comfortable in my own skin. I feel like what I'm trying to say is getting away from me, this is not one of my more comprehensive blog entries.
So here is what I'm trying to say, I think. Life is sometimes tough, it restricts us to be ourselves. Sometimes we find ourselves in a rut, what better way to get out of that rut than to get up and be someone else, at least for awhile. Take that for what it is, perhaps these are the words of a man who rambles too much, or a man who tries to make sense of things that don't make sense to him right now. In conclusion, the world is a jigsaw puzzle, but I kinda like it that way, one mystery after another to unravel, one surprise after another. It's life really, let's get down to what it really is, life is so full of surprises, it's full of disappointments, it's full of pleasant things, I wouldn't give up life for anything.
So here's what I'm really saying, I had a bad day yesterday, things were not going my way when I thought they were, I walked home in the rain, I was feeling sorry for myself, I wanted to be Don Draper, I wanted to pack up and leave and become someone else, someone who I could be happy with and someone who people thought was a great guy. I sometimes look in the mirror, and I see someone who hasn't reached his full potential, I felt like my life was holding me back in some way. But I had some time to reflect, I've counted to ten and have calmed myself. We are what we make our life to be, we try to make sense of this giant jigsaw puzzle but it's really futile. I get frustrated sometimes because it is such a gigantic jigsaw puzzle, I feel like pieces are missing somewhere and I search for them everywhere I can, but I know it's part of what makes life so interesting, even if sometimes you just wish it go your way more often than not.
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