Glenn Beck just isn't funny

We have been told that Glenn Beck isn't someone to be taken seriously, even Glenn Beck has said this. He has again called himself a commentator not a reporter. On Wikipedia he described himself once as a circus clown. Beck has even gone on the road doing his special brand of comedy along with inspiration speaking.

I can't speak on the comedy show since I've never seen it, but what I've observed from Beck's own show is simply this, he's just not funny.

Beck's more annoying than funny, annoying because he's sincere at what he says, annoying because what he says doesn't make sense. How can a man be so sincere at something that doesn't make any sense?

Does Beck actually mean what he's saying, or is it all an act? I just don't know anymore. What I do know is Beck's schtick doesn't even make sense, The Marx Brothers sometimes didn't make much sense either, but they belonged to a different kind of world of madcap zaniness that seemed real to them. This is where Beck loses me, he doesn't seem to have a full grasp on his own reality, he tries too hard to make something out of nothing, The Marx Brothers made it look effortless.

It seems Glenn Beck is trying to be two different people, sometimes it seems he's trying to be the counterpoint to Jon Stewart, someone who mocks the government, and attempts to satirize its political figures. These are the times where he reminds us he's only an entertainer a circus clown if you will.

The other persona is that of a serious minded conspiracy theorist who predicts the world's downfall with ideas that when put together makes about as much sense as a Michael Bay montage.

Which one is the real Glenn Beck you wonder? They both are, the problem with this guy is when he's trying to be funny he isn't, and when he's trying to be serious it comes off as funny, but it isn't, it's more sad in a way, it's sad for Glenn Beck and it's sad for the people who watch him and take him seriously.

What kind of lives do these people live, have they lost their grasp of reality? Do they take Glenn Beck seriously, or do they just have a bad sense of humour?



(Serious Glenn Beck? Not sure, he almost had me until he said Hitler Youth and Climate Change people in the same context.)



(Funny Glenn Beck? Is this meant to be taken seriously?)



(Newsflash Jon Stewart is funnier doing Glenn Beck than Glenn Beck is)




(Now that's funny)

R.I.P. Alex Chilton

Big Star is a band you should know if you already didn't.

Catching up with 2 Artists

The two artforms that are most important to me are film and literature. When I'm not watching a film, I'm usually reading a book and vise versa. I consider myself somewhat of pseudo-intelligent on both subjects.

Late last year, we lost two giants of both the literary and film world when filmmaker Eric Rohmer, and author J.D. Salinger both past away. When artists like that pass away it's customary for fans of their work to do a retrospective. For me, when I heard these two men died, I was amazed with myself that I have never read a word of Salinger's prose, nor seen a piece of celluloid from Rohmer's films.

Salinger of course is best remembered for writing "Catcher on the Rye" which is still considered the main book on teenage alienation. I guess I got past my teenage alienation stage which made me not jump up and read it right away, I decided to wait. Salinger has also written "Nine Stories" and "Fanny and Zooey" both of which I'm even more interested in reading.

Rohmer was one of the founding fathers of the French New Wave. He started out as a film critic along with Francois Truffaut, Jean-Luc Godard, and Louis Malle. He's probably best known for his "Six Moral Tales" series of films all of which I have failed to see so far. Rohmer continued to make films well into his eighties, his last one was made not long ago in 2007, and he remained a critical success throughout his career.

When I heard of the deaths of these two artists, I was sad, mostly because I've heard of them and they were well respected, and now I find the urge to explore their work now more than ever.

In Canada We Have the Choice to Pay for Fox News

Thank God I live in Canada where we don't have to worry about Fox News every day. In my household, we have the Fox Network where I watch "The Simpsons", but Fox News is a completely different entity altogether. I think if we wanted Fox News we would have to pay for it. I'm not sure, I've never looked into it, all I know is in America, the faces of Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly seem to be everywhere, and here, we don't hear about or see them all that much.

I think I get my fill of Fox News when Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert mock them on practically every episode of their comedy shows. I remember when Beck had his own show on CNN, back then he didn't get as much attention as he does now, when I saw him then I found him to be the same kind of blow hard who distorted facts and exaggerated the truth as he does today, but I guess CNN didn't know how to publicize him. Beck even devoted a whole show to being interviewed by Anderson Cooper, it was amazing I don't think I ever saw a talk show where the host was his own guest.

I don't think Canada has an equivalent to Fox News, when I think of Canadain News, I think of Lloyd Robertson, or Peter Mansbridge, and of course "This Hour has 22 Minutes". In fact I trust our newsmen more than our politicians, for if there are anybody who try to distort facts and grand stand for no apparent reason it's them, don't believe me, just watch a House of Commons debate.

Of course Canadian politics have always lacked the drama and intensity of American politics. In Canada we have more than two parties, so it never feels like the people I know are either left or right. In America it's as if you have to be one or the other, there isn't a middle ground. I'm not sure if the gap between the two parties is smaller, but it doesn't seem like it.

I'm not very politically savvy, I look as politics as another word for bureaucracy, nothing ever seems to get done no matter which side you agree with, I felt real leadership has always come from someone who forgoes the consequences and makes decisions.

I feel like I'm simplifying my point, but like I said I'm not politically savvy. I view the world not through a political point of view but through a moral one. I believe the Iraq War is unjust, I believe gay people should get the same rights as everybody, and I believe universal healthcare is a great thing. I also believe in family values, good education systems, stricter gun laws, and freedom of religion. I believe I've learned these things by the way I was raised and viewing the world as I see it, politics have never had anything to do with it. If I would categorize myself, I would associate myself more as a liberal, but whether or not I would vote for the Liberal party is up in the air. I don't believe in Progressive Conservatives simply because I don't believe progress has anything to do with conservatives. In other words, I don't think I belong to a party, nor do I want to be, each party has let me down in some way or another.

I kinda feel sorry for Americans who only have the two choices, and then you are viewed by your choice as either good or bad in the media. I don't think I could stand for a Fox News type of show in Canada, it might make politics more interesting here, but it would be sending us down a road where morality and the truth no longer matters. In no way am I going to pay for that.

The Process

The process of writing is a joy for the most part. I wouldn't say I'm prolific or even that great but I find the more I do it, the more I'm finding my voice.

I'm fascinated with the whole creative process that goes into writing, or goes into anything for that matter. Everyone has there own way of doing things in order to get into as we say:The Zone.

It usually takes me months to finally sit down and write something mostly because I spend that time thinking it out thoroughly. I must have a clear picture in my head, at least something to go by before I sit down at the keyboard. This process is where I think I've done some of my best writing.

Lately however I've been coming by other ways to write. Recently I've hitched my wagon to a local comedy group in my city. They are full of people who I have gotten to know and trust very much. We write all our original sketches, bring them to the table for the others to peruse and then we sometimes do re-writes. I must say I'm finding working this way with a group of people very gratifying and fun. Even if a sketch isn't working out, we sometimes come together and try to make it work. It's very give and take and you have to leave your ego at the door.

It's also becoming a stronger way for me to understand comedy. As I was going on in my last post, there's an art to comedy, and it has its own formula. When I'm writing a comical situation, I ask myself why is it funny. Sometimes I can't find an answer, and that's when I think it's not as great as it could be, but I must put those petty things aside when working on a deadline, in hindsight there have been only two sketches I have written so far I have been proud of, one of them in particular became good only when we rehearsed it with the actors.

One thing writing tends to do is keep me isolated, and that's when it becomes almost hard to take. I love discussion, and dissection which is something I think you can only perfect when with more people, but there is that time when you have to be alone with your own thoughts. This however isn't always an agonizing situation, for I have found many times I couldn't wait to get home and write, to be with my characters that I love so much. This is probably a description of being in the zone, when everything seems to click and all you need to do is put it on paper.

Even what I'm doing right now, I feel is part of the process, it's a recording of thoughts, trying to express something sometimes not all that clearly other than to myself, but it's a way of wiping away the cobwebs of my brain to make a clearer picture in my head of what I feel is what I need to express.

What Makes Me Laugh

I haven't had the best week of my life. I'm not saying it was stupid terrible, but I am saying it hasn't been the best. I've had troubles up the ying yang with my car, I've felt used, rejected, lonely, bitter, sad, embarrassed, and twitterpated, and that's not dandy at all.

I feel like life has used me as that mediocre punching bag yet again. I say mediocre because it usually has much bigger more important punching bags to beat up than me. Still I feel pretty beaten up. What's a guy to do? When I get down, I mean really down, this may sound a cliche but I love to laugh. Okay wait a second! Before you judge me for using the most overused line on how to get over depression let me tell you now I'm not talking about no phony "Patch Adams" cheer me up when I'm down scenario.

I take my humour very seriously, I have my own tastes, I'm offended when people don't share the same humour as me, and I'm even more offended when someone thinks something is funny and I don't. We all have our tastes, nothing makes me more depressed than watching "2 and a half Men", it's sloppy, dated, and you can hear the punchlines coming from miles away.

Like all art, humour can be analysed, deconstructed, and criticized. If someone says something is funny, and I don't think it is, I often ask myself, why don't I think it is? That may make me a loser, but baby I don't care.

Comedy comes in all shapes and sizes, either in a joke, a story, or a scenario. Humour can be stupid, clever, or corny, I like anyone as long as they are delivered in a way that appeals to me.

I am not a comedy expert (or am I?) But here are some people, places, and things that have made me laugh the most and have comforted and at times inspired me in life.



The Simpsons: I grew up with "The Simpsons" so in that sense, they are nostalgic. They have lost their lustre in later years, I don't find myself needing to watch them as I used to. But when I'm watching television, and they are on, I will usually stay on that channel just for th chance to hear one of Homer's many Homerisms "To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems" is still a favorite.



Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert: My late night warriors showing the world that good satire still exists. In fact Stewart and Colbert have in some way transcended satire by even having more credibility than most newsmen.





The Silent Giants: There are those who will say silent comedy isn't funny anymore. To them I say watch it again. Start with Chaplin's "The Gold Rush" and Keaton's short "Cops" and go from there. I mean look at the logic of "The General" where Keaton is caught in the middle of a canon blasting at him, but narrowly misses him as the track makes for a turn.



The Comedies of The Coens: Judd Apatow is great, but the best comedies being made today come from The Coen Brothers. They are weird wondrous, and screwball. Some like "O Brother Where Art Thou?" seem to be made from another time, others like "Raising Arizona" are bizarrely real. Right up to their current masterpiece comedy "A Serious Man", the Coens continue to surprise and enlighten. Don't believe me? Just as the Church of "The Dude".

And Finally....

Groucho, Harpo, Chico, and Zeppo (Yes dammitt Zeppo) : Simply the best funniest foursome ever. Hail The Three Stooges, hail Laurel and Hardy, hail W.C Fields, but The Marx Brothers are their Gods. Watch them, and to you non-believers I say really watch them. The fact that Groucho and Chico never said anything that wasn't a joke is proof enough for their greatness. When we have wondered off this mortal coil, I hope these four men are somewhere in the afterlife. I wouldn't want to live forever if they weren't apart of it.

Top Ten Simpsons episodes:
1. The flashback when Maggie was born
2. Frank Grimes (Grimy)
3. The Monorail
4. The Christmas episode when Bart shoplifts
5. Lisa becomes a vegetarian
6. The Power plant goes on strike
7. The parody of "The Prisoner"
8. Springfield does "A Streetcar Named Desire" The Musical
9. The Cape Fear parody with Sideshow Bob
10. Bart takes his dog to obedient school (Sentimental fav cause I had a stupid dog once too)

When I met Jesus

When I was seven years old, I met Jesus. He wasn't physically there but according to my church, we met and apparently it was a life changing experience.

It was summer, I was out of school, my parents needed me to be preoccupied, our local Alliance Church was holding a bible summer school something or other, it seemed the only logical step. Being so young I don't remember much of my experience there, I remember not liking it that much because most of the kids there weren't kids I hung out with regularly at school, in fact most of those kids were kids I didn't normally see at school.

It was two weeks I think we were there, two weeks of Sunday school every day, plus the regular Sunday school on Sunday. We played games, mostly biblical themed, such as "Devil Killers", "Destroy the Heathen", and "Let's Convert the Sinner". There were normal games as well such as floor hockey, basketball, and ping pong that made us look like we fit into normal society more.

The teacher of this school was Mrs. Schmitke, I don't remember her first name, to me she had no first name, she was just Mrs. If she had a first name it would be in the vein of an Ethel or Edna...Ethel, she was an Ethel to me, she looked like an Ethel, she walked like an Ethel, and she smelled like an Ethel. I don't remember her age, but she must've been that age which frightened children for it was the age that gave her that Witch like appearance.

For years my family had been going to this certain Alliance Church, mostly it concentrated on the love that Jesus brought, especially to those who loved him back. I remember the sermon about what he did to those who didn't love him, it wasn't pretty. It was the sermon about the end of the world when Jesus would return and kill everyone who didn't believe in him, and send the ones who did up to Heaven. It got me wondering, if Santa Claus had that power would he do the same?

I also remember the sermon about Hell, particularly the lake of fire part, I didn't much take kindly to swimming in a lake of fire, especially since I didn't know how to swim, that just sounded extra painful. My brother, knowing this certain aspect of Hell tormented me the most took it as his advantage to torture me at home with an even more descriptive version of it than the Pastor made.

No sir, it seemed to me Hell was no picnic, neither was the end of the world, it became obvious to me that the only way to avoid these plagues of evil was to get to know the one man who could stop this.

I've seen pictures of Jesus, I even read about him, in church we did nothing but sing about him. I remember in particular the song "Jesus Loves the Little Children, all the children of the world." That comforted me, but I was realizing I wouldn't be a child forever, I was 7 soon to be 8, I was growing up fast, pretty soon I would lose his love and I would be like every other poor unfortunate soul, I needed full everlasting coverage to avoid eternal damnation, that's when I decided to meet Jesus.

It was the final day of Summer Sunday School Bible Camp, when Ethel Schmitke invited all the kids to meet Jesus. She understood those who didn't feel ready to meet him yet, so there was no pressure, it didn't matter for there were enough peanut butter cookies waiting downstairs to feed everyone. Those who didn't want to meet Jesus could go down early and get their cookie, the rest were to stay behind. Despite the craving of a peanut butter cookie at that moment, my little 7 year old head was too full of hell fire fear to care all that much, I waited with my other Summer Sunday School Bible Camp Brethren, we were about to meet the big cheese to make all our fears go away.

I remember the moment vividly, we were all sitting on chairs in a circle, Mrs. Schmitke and her minions surrounded us, each child got there own minion, together with them we prayed, we prayed to ask Jesus into our heart, we prayed to be saved. For my part, I remember bowing down with a minion, closing my heart, repeating the words given to me asking Jesus to come into my heart, in a matter of moments it was over. My heart was no longer mine, Jesus owned it, it was his to have, I was relieved, no more hell, no more end of the world for me, I was going straight to Heaven.

After the ceremonial meeting with Jesus, we went downstairs to have our peanut butter cookies, afterwards each of us were given a balloon, my mother came to pick me up, Mrs. Schmitke and the minions escorted us out. It was a bright sunny day, it was warm outside just like my Jesus infested heart. We were told to hang on to our balloons, suddenly a stereo with inspirational christian music came on, it might've been Amy Grant I don't remember, we were then told by Mrs. Schmitke to let go of our balloons. With that, there they went, like our newly saved souls would some day go, up to heaven, the music became louder, Mrs. Schmitke took me to my mom. "Jeremy has something to tell you", she said. I shyly said "I'm a christian". My mother was overjoyed, she gave me a big hug for she now knew that we would both be in heaven together forever.

Since that day more bible camps came and went, I remember "Circle Square Ranch", a year later when my brother met Jesus for the first time, this pretty much gave him full reign to pound on me, it didn't really matter what he did, Jesus owned his heart too, this only gave him more ways to torture me. "Now I can pound on you all I want forever since we'll both be in Heaven." I couldn't wait.

Years later my family stopped going to church, no one seemed to like saying grace at the dinner table either since it cut into eating time, so we stopped doing that too. All the bible camps disappeared too, I was starting to see through their organized religion facade, and I told my parents I didn't like going there anymore.

More things happened, my parents divorced which actually caused me to revisit church after so long, I suppose I was looking for meet Jesus again, to see how he was doing with my heart, and maybe if he wasn't using it I could have it back. I went back to church but didn't really find him again, at least not the one I found when I was seven.

I stopped going to church, but for awhile I continued to pray, like a always did since I was a kid. I prayed for peace, for my family, my friends, and for guidance. It got kinda monotonous so I decided to stop.

I still had the bible though, that document of why we believed what we believed as I was growing up. I realized I never read the bible all the way through. All those things I went to with BIBLE in the title, the camps, the studies, the meetings, all that and I failed to read the damn thing. In fact all these things I was told about Jesus, I never really looked for myself, what kind of guy was he?

I opened the book to The New Testament (Jesus' story). It turned out he was a great guy, it didn't seem like he was the kind of person who was supposed to come down from Heaven one day and destroy all mankind. He treated everyone equally even the ones who were sinners, he never seemed to be as preachy as his contemporaries made him our to be. He did what he thought was right and rose up against oppressors, reading this it was hard to believe this guy existed at all.

I thought for a moment and I closed the book, I had met Jesus before, but I now I understood him for the first time.

I still don't go to church, or pray, or say grace at the dinner table anymore. At Christmas I still enjoy the religious carols and my dad still places the nativity scene above the television as only a small reminder. Despite all this I still think about Jesus a lot, I often wonder if the guy I read about is around watching down at us, and if he is, I wonder what he must be thinking, and must be feeling, I wonder if some day I'll be able to really meet him.