How are We Going to Save This Generation Or A Little Bit Of Soul Goes a Long Way

Where did my youth go? I don't even think I had one, I jumped right into old man status, I'm the oldest 29 year old you'll ever meet. Look at my tastes in movies, music, and books. Even my clothes are out of date, but I don't care, you know what, I think I was meant to be born decades ago, but destiny screwed up and put me in a very uninspired, corporate owned decade. Movies are boring, music is boring, even the way we listen to music is boring, (A turntable is way cooler than an IPod), film is better than digital.

This isn't my fault I'm so retro, I was born that way, I worked my way from the past to the present, I'd rather be in the past.

Let's look at music today shall we? It sucks, it just plain sucks, it's all nice and pretty, glossed with neatly produced melodies without any edge. Where's the music with soul? Where's the music that makes you wanna shout and holler? In other words, where the rebellion? Do you know what I see when I look at the musicians of today? They're a bunch of pussies, they dress up to work with the establishment, they don't have an original thought in their pretty little heads. They sing into the microphones with no personality, until the producer and music executives are happy.

I'm talking to the people who make rock and roll, yes you people, you so and so's who are supposed to be the heirs to Chuck Berry, Buddy Holly, Elvis, The Beatles, The Beach Boys, The Who etc.... Somebody take the freakin mantle already.

You know what we need? We need another Kurt Cobain already! We've been waiting long enough, where is he already? Do you know what kids are growing up with these days? Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers, isn't that sad? That is sad, it's sad and it's dull, we are making dull children. These are dull children who are sitting in their rooms listening to Hannah Montana, reading about how vampires aren't scary, but sexy, and watching movies about vampires that aren't scary but sexy.

Pretty soon those children will grow up and they are going to be dull, they are going to be boring, and they are going to make your life a living hell.

We need to put the soul back in these people, they've been sucked dry by Hannah Montana and sexy vampires.



For you people who have children who you fear are going to be dull, don't worry, there is still time. First of all confiscate their IPod and lend them your old turntable. Second, take out one of your old vinyls circa 1965-69 (I recommend a large dose of "The Beach Boys Pet Sounds", followed by Bob Dylan's "Blonde on Blonde", and "The Beatles Abbey Road").

After you expose your child to this, you might find a change in them, they might become a bit rebellious, don't worry, this is natural. The child is now ready for "The Nuggets Collection: Original Artifacts from the first phsycedelic Era". You can get either the album, or the four disc box set. This set is full of many garage bands from the sixties such as Love, The Kingsmen, and Captain Beefheart to name a few.

Once your child is exposed to this, the Hannah Montana spell should be broken, if not, drastic measures such as 70s punk rock, 80s new wave, and 90s grunge should be taken. After awhile your child should be rejecting The Disney Channel altogether, and vampires will again seem scary and not sexy anymore.

The one warning to this is your child might want to invest in an electric guitar and a garage for his/her band to play in, but don't worry, with any luck your child will develop talent and have the power to change the world/music industry forever.

It's a long and winding road, but the benefits will be worth it, the world will thank you, music will thank you, the future will thank you, I will thank you. All we have in this world to keep us separate from others is our individuality, don't let Hannah Montana crush that.