For the first time in my life, I got seriously drunk. This was one of those moments where you're not quite sure what you said or how you acted while under intoxication. You could say I had visions of what transpired, I remember moving my fingers a lot because they had become numb, it was an interesting sensation indeed. My lips have also become numb as well, and everything and everyone seemed farther from me than they really were. Through my stupor, I remember thinking how fascinating this experience was.
As far as my conduct last night, I don't think I hurt anybody's feelings, and I also don't believe I said anything that was out of line, lucky me. I also don't think I was mean, I think I was having too much fun in my new found state of mind. I remember having a conversation with two people in a kitchen, trying to listen, but also concentrating on propping myself against the stove so I would not fall over.
Time is irrelevant when you're drunk, I remember hearing it was 2:00am and being shocked thinking I just started drinking not too long ago, when in fact four hours had gone by since my first glass. At one point pizza came, however the delivery man coming to the door, happened just as a blur. Somehow, at least two pieces of pizza found their way into my hand, how this happened, or who was responsible for this, I'm not sure. Like all things at that moment, the pizza and my hand always seemed very far away from my hand, but somehow with much effort it made its way into my mouth. My motor skills still worked but probably only with a 50% capacity, I was able to chew the pizza successfully without choking.
By the end of the night, I was constantly afraid that I was going to forget everything, I remember saying something like "I don't like forgetting things", I was trying to remember everything and everybody in the room. Using the few faculties I had left at my disposal I wanted to trace the whole evening from the very beginning to when people started leaving, it was my own foolish ego who was trying to make up a timeline of missing parts. It was also a way for me to remind myself constantly where I was and what I was doing, although I can't say for sure if my mind and my actions were in perfect harmony at that point.
I woke up this morning with my body being very bitter, and vengeful, this was the first time I put it through so much torture at one time, and I think it was a bit surprised. I suppose the closest comparison I could come up with is if you picture a relationship with someone you've been with for a very long time, then suddenly they find out something shocking about you that they weren't prepared to accept.
I don't regret drinking, or even getting drunk for that matter, it had been a long week, I worked really hard, I was with friends, I was at home, I wanted to unwind a bit, and those who know me, know I don't normally unwind like that. I suppose my one regret is I let it get a bit out of control, to the point where I didn't really feel like myself, and that was the part I didn't like. I also didn't like waking up in the morning feeling literally like I was going to die, I could've done without that. The fact that their are people who do this to their bodies daily just boggles my mind, but time passed and I once again felt like me again, it seemed like a relief.
I'm not sure what the moral of this story consists of, I think you would have to piece together everything that happened from the other people who were there last night. It was a bit gratifying forgetting my troubles and worries for just a few hours even though I paid for it in the morning, perhaps if I look closer at my motives, I would find a reason for wanting to erase some things from my mind during that time, but mostly I wanted to have fun, and I wanted to kick back and relax, you could say I did it in spades!
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