Where have I been?

Hello all you loyal blogger fans, I bet you're wondering where your favorite blogger went, well don't fret, I am still alive, and I am blogging, I have a few reasons for my required absence.

One reason, I haven't been blogging as usual is I don't really have Internet at my place anymore. The reason behind that is my roommate and I was were stealing Internet from our neighbours who I guess got wise to us since they suddenly closed their system down and secured it. It was very polite if you ask me, I mean it's not like we were hurting anybody, and we are poor starving artists just waiting for our big break, but I guess that didn't stop them.

Another reason I haven't been blogging is I've been insanely busy at the moment with stuff...Okay so here's what I've been up to.

1. "It's a Wonderful Life": This has taken priority over my life lately, I've been in rehearsals for it for almost a month now, each rehearsal requires practically the enitre cast which can be about 15 at any given moment. The play is wonderful to do, but I realized right away when rehearsals started it was going to be exhausting which it has been. At the moment, we are at the stage where people are getting off book, we are just about to incorporate a set, with lights and sound soon, then that's where I fear things will get hectic, yet I'm confident in my team and actors. This is definitely the most ambitious project I've ever directed, it feels like an event rather than a play sometimes even though I tried to make it into a more human story. I'm not sure how successful I've been, we open in about two weeks now so I guess it's hard to say at the moment, I guess it's difficult for any project to come out exactly the way you want it. I intend to devote an entire blog entry for "It's a Wonderful Life"

2. "Bullskit": I was part of Bullskit in November, which I sort of regret doing, I love doing it, but once it came to showtime, I was feeling burned out, so many things were going on, I was dividing my attention in four different directions, I was feeling ill and tired doing the show, and it didn't help that this month left on a somewhat bitter note, even though since then the wounds have been healed. We were all just a bunch of people who had a lot on our plate and came together at a time when other things were occupying our minds, it wasn't exactly a time for comedy.

3. "WORK": DAMN YOU BILLS, AND RENT AND INSURANCE AND EVERYTHING! WITHOUT YOU I WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORK!. Not that I don't enjoy my job, I just wish I didn't have to go there a lot. I would like to go there on occasion, maybe if I was board and looking for something to do to fill my time, but that's not realistic. I actually do enjoy working at chapters for a day job, it's better than most of the day jobs I have had, yet if it becomes a career, shoot me.

4. "Good Morning: The Movie": Yes, the long talked about dream has finally come into fruition, it has been decided that the first play of mine that was produced for the stage will now be set in front of a camera. Come January, cameras will role on "Good Morning" the film, I cannot lie, I am quite excited about it. I haven't had much time to think about it so far, I've had what amounts to one meeting with a producer, and a few emails back and forth (Imagine my frustration when our Internet suddenly stopped working thanks to our law abiding neighbours). It's quite exciting, since my first endeavor behind the camera, I've often wondered if I could actually direct a film. I'm still not sure and it'll be interesting to find out.

So that's about it, I don't remember the last time I was busy, I wish it wasn't so close to Christmas, it's quite a stressful and busy, but miraculous time, I'm sure I'll appreciate it when I'm old and grey. I won't lie, there is a part of me that can't wait when things die down a bit, and I can once again curl up to a book on my couch, and maybe go see a movie, oh that would be wonderful, untill then I'll try updating my blog as much as possible, enjoy your lives whatever you may be doing, don't forget to stop sometimes and smell the roses.

The Great Zim

I don't think anyone can touch him, he is the epitome of a rock and roll poet, he's also a personal hero of mine so I guess I'm biased, but I mean come on, Bob Dylan is in a class by himself.

Whenever I feel tired or uninspired, Bob Dylan somehow comes into my life, all I have to do is put in "Blonde on Blonde", or "Blood on the Tracks", or "Highway 61 Revisited", and I'm reinvigorated, somehow all those weird wonderful songs, so cryptic yet so heartfelt came from one mind.

Dylan has lived a life of contradictions, he started out as a folk protester, then defied his followers by turning to electric music. After a motorcycle accident, he went into solitude to come out with a mellower tone. He made his most naked and emotional album with "Blood on the Tracks", then he turned christian. By the late nineties, his voice was more grizzled than ever and made a series of modern masterpieces. I've seen him three times in less than seven years on his "never ending tour".

About two months ago, I was going through my endless cd collection and came upon "Blood on the Tracks" which I actually thought was lost and gone, I hadn't heard it in over two years. I put it in my dusty old cd player and laid on my bed while it played, it took me back to a place I longed forgot, it didn't open old wounds like it used to but fond memories. It's probably my favorite Dylan album because in it, I can hear him wailing in pain over a broken relationship, and it was just as I felt, but now as I listen to it, it's more peaceful.

Bob Dylan is still an excellent songsmith, I never get tired of his words, or his voice, he's there when I need him, he's a comfort, a companion, he can be anything I want him to be since he stays so mysterious. All we need is that voice, those words, and that music.

Things By Jeremy: Halloween Edition Part One

Halloween is here, my favorite non-holiday type holiday. It's not really a holiday since no one gets a day off from it, but it's a lot less depressing than Valentine's Day, and a lot more sober than St. Patrick's Day. Halloween represents fun to me, I love hanging around and watching scary movies, I usually have a few up my sleeve that are musts.

My favorite horror movie isn't exactly a horror movie, it's more of a dark comedy, it's "Bride of Frankenstein", it's a classic. You look at it today, and it's campy, but it's also funny, not "bad movie" funny, but deliberately funny. It's actually a film that's obsessed with the ideas of life and death and finds dark humour in it. Plus it has Boris Karlof as The Monster, and Elsa Lanchester as his bride and also Mary Shelley who wrote the original "Frankenstein" story. She's shows up at the beginning, and tells the story. Plus it's a great looking film in black and white, some films just belong in black and white and this is one of them.

I have to say I've become more of a fan of horror movies as time goes by. Maybe as a kid, I was usually not aloud to watch anything gory, but it's grown on me. I especially love Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining", and John Carpenter's "Halloween". Plus Hitchcock's "The Birds" which I do find frightening, plus "Psycho" is just a classic.

Halloween is also the time when my absolute favorite show of all time "The Simpsons" comes out with their latest "Treehouse of Horror" anthology. "The Simpsons" are still very funny, maybe not as funny as they once were, but they are still able to make me laugh more than most shows.

But let's get back to scary movies, after all that's what I really love it for. Along with "Bride of Frankenstein", there's all the Universal horror monsters like "Dracula" with Bela Lugosi, and "The Wolf Man" with Lon Chaney Jr. Okay so here's a shock, I find those movies vastly overrated. Yes, looking at "Dracula", I find it to be dull despite Lugosi's great performance, it's underwhelming, in fact the only vampire movie I find actually good are the original "Nosferatu" and its remake by Werner Herzog in 1979, check those out if you want to see something horrifying. I also saw the film "Let Me In" just recently which I thought was another great vampire movie, but that was based on a Sweedish film I have not seen.

"The Wolf Man" is very atmospheric and has a lot of good performances (Hooray for Ralph Bellamy), but the monster itself doesn't do much but snarl at the camera a few times. He also isn't that mysterious once you see him, his reveal isn't as epic as the first time you see Frankenstein or Dracula in those old movies.

There's lots of old movies I love in the horror genre, you should check out the Val Lewton films like "Cat People" and "The 7th Victim" plus there's Peter Lorre in "Mad Love", and for pure camp and fun there's Humphrey Bogart playing a living dead person in "The Return of Doctor X", one of his pre-star days.

One horror movie monster I have mixed feelings about is the zombie. Probably because they are over-exposed, I'm starting to have this problem with the vampire too, they aren't scary anymore and there isn't much of a point to them anymore. Plus I wasn't much of a fan of the original zombie films like "Night of the Living Dead" or "Dawn of the Dead", the whole idea of them isn't frightening, yet so many people make zombie movies.

So here's my top ten favorite horror movies of all time some of them aren't scary by today's standards, but I still like them.

1. Bride of Frankenstein
2. Psycho
3. The Shining
4. Repulsion
5. The Birds
6. Cat People
7. Rosemary's Baby
8. The 7th Victim
9. Frankenstein
10.Halloween

Tomorrow I'll talk about more Halloween related material.

Good or Bad: All Things Must Pass

It's difficult to explain something that you don't understand all that well. Living in this world, full of great mysteries and wonders, I sometimes wish I could just spend my time thinking about them and not worry about the other things. Over the summer, I retreated from the city and decided to take solace in a residence where I worked. I liked doing this, I enjoyed the solitude and being able to be alone with my own thoughts.

I spent most of my time reading books that were in my collection but have not been touched. I also watched films whenever I wanted, and wrote in between all of these. When I wanted to see my family or my friends, I simply went home and spent time with them. This probably couldn't have happened if I wasn't financially secure which I was, being able to have a full time job that paid well but wasn't too demanding, I didn't have to go home thinking about work, I could turn it off like a faucet.

But of course summer came to a close, I was feeling very optimistic after my experience at residence; I came facing the real world with a new found philosophy or so I thought.

One thing that I can never seem to shake is feeling the expectations from others on what I should do with my life. I've been told many times to get a job, make money, find some sort of direction. I suppose when summer ended and reality crept in, I started forgetting what I learned. When it was time to move from my old house into a new place, our old landlords were unhappy with the way we left the place, they were going to keep our damage deposit plus they were threatening us with more money we were going to owe them.

This put a damper on my new beginning I was trying to start for myself. I was excited about moving in to my new place, I made up a den in the downstairs, yet as time went by, I started feeling down, I'm not sure how to explain it, but I was struggling to get up in the morning the first few weeks living here. Thanksgiving came and went, I wasn't feeling any better, I had this bleak feeling inside of me that wasn't going away, I didn't know what to do, I didn't even know who to talk to about it.

More time went by, some days I felt better, other days, I was sad. I had to find a new job, yet I couldn't bring myself to look, by luck I got one at Chapters just when I needed it.

Soon things were looking up, I went to my new job and I felt better, I actually enjoyed parts of it, I wasn't dreading it. I did a weekend of Bullskit which also cheered me up, it was so good to hear people laughing and doing a show with friends, I could feel myself coming out of my depression slowly but surely.

Today I woke up surprised and delighted to see snow on the ground. I don't know what it is, but there's something almost reassuring to see snow on the ground, it reminded me of how things come and go, and it was nice seeing it again.

I had not unpacked all my stuff since I moved in, my room has been full of boxes, I just didn't have the energy to do anything about it. I was in a stupor, I couldn't concentrate and get on with the work that had to be done, but something finally snapped in me, and I felt the urge to get on with it. I finally unpacked my stuff, I made my room livable, it's finally starting to look like home. I feel much happier just looking at my room and outside. I haven't read a book since I moved in, and I finally felt like reading one, and of course that one book had to be Dickens.

I don't know why I was in such a negative mood for such a long time, there were days when I actually thought I was dying, I knew it was all in my head. It had been a long time since I felt like that, and I actually thought I was over feeling it.

What I do understand from feeling that way is that life isn't always certain, and neither is happiness, but what I was doing wasn't living, I wanted to stay in bed all day, I didn't want to face the world, it was becoming too difficult. But one thing I had to realize was things like this must pass, I was going to be okay, I didn't want to be afraid anymore, and most importantly I wanted to get on with my life.

Living is actually a courageous thing, there are so many things and people out there that can hurt us, yet we choose to face them, sometimes it becomes overwhelming, and that's when we just have to remember all things must pass, and we can go on living again. We get sad, we get down, but life doesn't stop just because we want it to. I sometimes struggle to remember that, right now I'm happy, and looking out, I'm excited about the new possiblities surrounding me, don't forget that life is a struggle, but it's all for days like these, when you can witness snow on the ground and get the courage to finish moving into your room.

Three Obsessions of the Week

1. Hereafter: A movie with some serious flaws, yet the way it's handled I found effective and life affirming. I think it's one of the best movies of the year, and I actually can't wait to see it again. Clint Eastwood is an assured director and Matt Damon is becoming one of the most reliable actors around, when will people notice how good he is?



2. Our Mutual Friend: Dickens' final finished novel, I felt the urge to open it this morning when I saw snow on the ground. I've read every finished novel by Dickens up to this, it's rather bittersweet that I have to finish it, yet once I open a Dickens book, I must finish it, only perhaps I'll take my time with this one.



3. A Child's Dream of a Star: Just to connect all three of these obsessions up. I was looking up the famous painting "Dickens Dream", which was mentioned in "Hereafter" since Matt Damon's character has an affinity with Dickens. Googling the word "Dickens" and "Dream", I came to this rather obscure short story which was written by Dickens, which I read online. I found the story to be wonderfully sentimental the only way Dickens could write it, it's sort of a lullaby of a person's life as it starts as a small boy who throughout his life suffers the loss of loved ones, waiting for the day he could join them. It's quite profound and moving, I wouldn't jump to conclusions if I called it one of the best short stories I've read.

Stephen Colbert: Making Sense out of Non-Sense

The Proust Questionnaire

This was an original questionnaire made famous by novelist Marcel Proust which became the inspiration for James Lipton's "Actor's Studio Questionnaire". According to Wikipedia, Proust did the questions in the 1800s, I'll do my best to answer all of them.

1. What is the principle aspect of you personality?: I have a charming disposition.

2. What quality do you desire in a man?: Integrity

3. What quality do you desire in a woman?: The same

4. What do you appreciate the most about your friends?: Their honesty, and intelligence, the fact that they accept me for me.

5. What is your main fault?: My confidence is shaky

6. What is your favorite occupation?: Student

7. What is your dream of happiness?: To live without fear.

8. What would be your greatest misfortune?: To have never met some of the people in my life who have meant the most to me.

9. What would you like to be?: Someone who made a difference

10. What country would you like to live in?: Canada is fine, if not, I would give France a try.

11. What is your favorite color?: Blue

12. Who are some of your favorite prose authors?: Charles Dickens, Anton Checkov, J.D. Salinger

13. Who are some of your favorite heroes in fiction?: Superman, Dr. Who, Indiana Jones, Groucho Marx

14. Who are some of your favorite heroines in fiction?: The Bride, Elizabeth Bennet

15. Who are some of your favorite composers?: Brian Wilson, Bob Dylan

16. Who are your heroes in real life?: Charles Dickens, Yasujiro Ozu, Groucho Marx

17. What historical figure do you most admire?: Gandhi, Jesus

18. What historical figure do you despise the most?: Hitler, Stalin

19. How do you want to die?: I'll be old, and I'll have my loved ones surrounding me.

20. What is your present state of mind?: Calm

21. What is your motto?: There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.