Summer is gone, it was so fleeting, I'm left once again forging ahead like everyone as the temperature drops and the snow drifts in.
There is a change in the air, and it's not just coming from the season. Pretty soon, I will be moving out of my house, the place I've called home for the past two years, and will be moving into a new place with a new roommate.
The move is rather bittersweet as I've been waiting for this day to finally happen especially since our landlords have been screwing us with rent since we signed our last lease, plus they have barely lifted a finger to fix anything around our house.
Still I was sharing the place with two of my best friends and some of the memories in this house with them are the things I will remember the most.
I've taken to some life changes this season as well, I've decided to take the advice of Thoreau and simplify. I will start by selling my car, it's become a nuisance, I've put too much money into it, yet there always seems to be a never ending oil leak that despite my best efforts doesn't ever seem to get sealed. It's like having my own BP oil well, except the only person it effects is myself.
I've taken to going for long walks, and when my car is sold, I will probably purchase a bike which will get me by until the snow comes, then public transportation will suit me fine. I have been warned, but you don't know what a load off my mind not worrying about my car breaking down again.
Another bit of bittersweet news, but I sense my days in Red Deer are numbered, I have one last job left, directing "It's a Wonderful Life" for the Matchbox, then I feel there's nothing left keeping me here. It's kinda sad, I've built a small life here in Red Deer, all my friends are here, my family is here, but it's time to move on. I feel like I've been postponing the inevitable for long enough, I don't want to leave, but there doesn't seem to be much of a future.
I've been thinking of moving to Calgary or Edmonton, particularly Edmonton as I have cousins living there who I'd like to build a relationship with. We've had multiple tragedies with the family over the summer, and I really want to get close to them, plus my family has never been close, I feel it would be good.
I feel like I'm in a good place, I'm starting to realize what makes me happy, I've been doing more writing both as a playwright and on my own, it's something I want to do more of. I also want to make a film, I feel I have so much knowledge about filmmaking, it would be a great regret if I waisted that.
Acting has become less and less an ambition, more than often I've been tired of doing projects I haven't been passionate about, doing roles that no longer interest me, the hunger just doesn't seem to be there anymore.
I still like performing, but I want to do things my own way, and if that's writing my own material, or just doing something because I want to do it, then that's the way I want to do it, it may not be the way to get famous but that no longer interests me.
I will always consider myself an artist, there's nothing more I like better than art and what it can do to you when it really effects you.
There's still so much more about the world that I want to explore and discover, also about myself.
I think I'm in a good place, maybe it's the fact that I will be 30 soon, I've become more reflective, maybe I've just started to figure life out, all I know is I don't want to stop learning and seeking out more possibilities.
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