The End of the Day

(The setting is a small countryside cafe. It is the end of the day, a waitress in her mid-forties is cleaning up around the counter, the cafe is empty except her. Suddenly Nick walks in, he’s in his mid-thirties.)

Waitress: (To Nick) Hi there, how are you today?

Nick: I’m fine, the guy down the road said you make dynamite coffee.

Waitress: Did he say that?

Nick: He did.

Waitress: Was that Charlie?

Nick: His name might’ve been Charlie, I didn’t quite get it.

Waitress: Did he have a white beard, with gut out to about here?

Nick: He did at that.

Waitress: Yeah that was Charlie.

Nick: Well was he wrong about the coffee?

Waitress: He wasn’t wrong, we usually do serve a good cup of coffee, but you came at the wrong time. You see when you want our best coffee, it’s best to come before two o’clock that’s when it’s still fresh. You’re coming at four-forty, it’s near the end of the day, you’ll be getting the four-forty coffee which is just about as good as anyone who can throw a pot on the stove and turn the burner on.

Nick: Well I’ll have whatever you have.

Waitress: You can have it, I’m just saying don’t expect much, it being four-forty and all. Coffee has a short lifespan.

Nick: Like a fly you might say.

Waitress: Like a what?

Nick: A fly, they only live for twenty-four hours.

Waitress: That’s an odd comparison, but I suppose judging by lifespan, it sort of makes sense, although I’m not saying that our coffee should be compared to a fly generally. We got a clean notice from the health inspector just last month. Not a speck of flies in the place, and he enjoyed our coffee too.

Nick: Well that’s a ringing endorsement.

Waitress: Of course he did come before two o'clock, which as I said before is when our coffee is at our best.

Nick: Well I’ll just have a cup of whatever you have left, and I won’t complain at all.

(Nick sits down at a table while the waitress goes behind the counter to pour the coffee.)

Waitress: I’d expect you’d want cream and sugar with your coffee, it makes it go down easier that way. It hides the aftertaste which there will be some, it being four-forty and all.

Nick: Sure cream and sugar would be fine.

Waitress: How many lumps?

Nick: One is good.

Waitress: May I suggest two, what with the aftertaste and all?

Nick: Sure I’ll go with two.

(Waitress comes around with the coffee and puts it on the table.)

Waitress: Here you go, will there be anything else?

Nick: I did have a hankering for a piece of pie when I came in, do you have any pie left?

Waitress: Sure we got pie; it’s been out all day, probably dried up something fierce.

Nick: What kind is it?

Waitress: Well our specialty is strawberry rhubarb, we’re known throughout the county for our strawberry rhubarb pie. It’s probably the best strawberry rhubarb pie I’ve ever had, and you might think that’s a biased remark coming from somebody who works here, but mister I would not be telling no lie if I were to tell you it is indeed the best pie I have ever tasted. But we don’t have any of that left, that sells out real fast around here, usually gone by two o’clock, I’d say if you came before two o’clock we’d have some. We do have apple pie though; our apple isn’t as good as our strawberry rhubarb, we don’t specialize in it or anything, it’s pretty much like any other apple pie you’d get at a cafe such as this, unless you go the Roy’s bakery about twenty minutes down the road, he grows his own apples on his farm, and his apple pie is definitely something to write home about. But he closes at five just as we do, even if you leave right away, I’d expect you’d be out of time, so I guess you’d be better off just having our apple pie.

Nick: Sure, that sounds good.

Waitress: And I did mention that it’s dried up something fierce, it being the end of the day and all?

Nick: You did mention that.

Waitress: So don’t expect anything too extravagant.

Nick: I won’t.

Waitress: Would you like a newspaper to read?

Nick: Sure.

Waitress: We have today’s newspaper, but it being near the end of the day, it’s almost like yesterday’s news. There’s probably been other news happening throughout the day that you could probably look up on the television or the Internet faster than reading this old paper. Most of our morning people come in reading today’s newspaper, because for them it’s still new, for someone coming in at the end of the day, it’s now like an old newspaper. (Looks at it) Someone seems to have finished the crossword in it and everything, you can’t even do that. Usually by this time, we don’t have any customers so I just throw this paper in the recycling, I was actually just about to do it before you came in.

Nick: Well I’m sorry to ruin your routine.

Waitress: Oh not at all, we’re open till five and until then, we remain the most hospitable to our customers. I’m just warning you, it’s all old news.

Nick: Well that’s alright, it is the end of the day and all. I show up, drinking your day old coffee, eating your dried up pie, and reading your out of date newspaper. I suppose it doesn’t make a lick of sense for someone like me to come in at this time, when you’re ready to close up and everything.

Waitress: No I suppose not, but I’m not gonna judge you, I’ll give you what we have, and hopefully that will hold you over. You travelling somewhere?

Nick: Just passing through. Just had a hankering for a cup of coffee and a piece of pie.

Waitress: Well next time you’re passing through, and you get the same hankering, may I suggest you do it before two o’clock? Cause like I said, our coffee’s the best before two o’clock. And we might have some strawberry rhubarb left for you too.

Nick: I’ll plan to do that next time, thanks.